that resolution : reality check

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As February is upon us and the Chinese new Year has been greeted I think it is time to admit that I am in need of encouragement to make good the one new-year-resolution I kinda made for 2014. If you have been here before you must have learned that I am a hoarder (more on this topic below) but I also am quite the procrastinator in the chore department. In most of my early life I have relied quite heavily on the last-minute bout of adrenaline to get mental work done, feeling it was quite a powerful inspiring drug. When my first child was born over fourteen years ago I realized that staying up all night to get something finished in style was a dangerous option, as the little thing would wake up at the same early hour full of the joys of life regardless of how much sleep I had gotten. I did not quite cure my last minuteness, just modified it into the penultimate minute, until it became clear that a life in the middle of the country with two children and animals whose need of you may not possibly be postponed was a life where meeting deadlines set on urban timeframe was no longer for me. I miss the thrill of my earlier life as an active publisher but I do not miss the stress of it. I have learned of other ways to be productive, I have also learned that I can just be.

When I went back to school and got reacquainted with the notion of homework I reverted to bad habits, worked too hard, too long and too late (the children older now and able to understand more readily and make allowances the tiredness of the adult), as if the previous years of modelling my home kind of wisdom had been swept away. I was really nervous at having my work assessed by a teacher, I was trying hard to prove to someone else that I was able, I was also mightily excited by my new studies in Homeopathy and the shift in perception that it entailed.

I have taken a long deep breath, I have decided that it is for me to decide whether I am able for what I endeavour and that there is no need to be nervous, I can be calm about my life and my choices, this is my path. But the homework you ask ? This is what 2014 was to be, for not leaving assignments to the last minute. What did I do this week ? Started my revisions the day before my chemistry exam for my other course of study. And what did I just finish ? My Pathology and Disease homework due last Friday, tsst tsst tsst. It’s not that I am not keen to study, on the contrary I am actually reading on the subject everyday, listening to lectures in the car, thinking and pondering it round the clock, but I come back from college and let the other strands of my life take over and find it hard to sit down in the one place long enough to complete my requested piece. I am not giving up, I have two assignments to complete for next Friday and I am aiming to have them done a good few days before then, it is not too late to amend my ways according to plan, let’s say it is a Year of the Horse resolution : no more of this last-minute-malarkey if i can help it.

The new year called for a new mop head as the old one’s hair had withered so thin that it felt and sounded like I was inefficiently mopping the floor with the metal clasp. I thought I might burn the old one, but when it dried it looked like such a lovely thing of beauty, fluffed up and made of lovely lines, no longer useful but to be photographed and perhaps used for an art project. Mop art. Kitchen Inspiration ? Slow art. Watch this space.

6 thoughts on “that resolution : reality check

    1. Great to be pointed to your lovely blog, I use Bach flower remedies too, I find them really amazing and never ever step out of the house without a bottle of rescue remedy. I am aiming to learn about Australian Bush flower essences and Bailey flower essences as well… but I must get to work with my mop head promptly now !

      1. I’m so pleased to hear you are already familiar with Bach flower remedies! I love them, and the gentle way they help us heal! I am also trained in Australian Bush flower essences – and I highly recommend them! Some of their essences have actions similar to Bach flowers – but some target other emotional states specifically. I happily use both ranges of essences, depending on how I am feeling, and which remedy matches my needs in that moment.
        I haven’t heard of Bailey flower essences before … I am excited to have something new to research! Thank you for letting me know about them!
        Wishing you endless fun and deepest joy as you create inspirational art with your mop head! I can’t wait to see what you do with it!

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