all lights back on, pretty much

cat and cockerel

appleI have been rather crippled by an unexplained pain in my hips, my lower back and my right knee. The body holds all memory so I have wondered if this was not a processing of the pain of previous accidents like that of 1995 when I was hit by a car as I was about to cross Merrion street upper in Dublin and found myself rolling over its blue metallic bonnet thinking my last hour had come. The pain and the resulting impossibility to do a lot of my usual daily activities have been dragging me down at times to a pretty low ebb : did I perhaps need to rethink my life in its core—I caught myself thinking—the life that includes on a daily basis a lot of physical activity as I smallhold on my own 4.8 acres of land, 4 goats, 2 mature hens and the 13 youngsters of various sizes that have hatched this year, 5 cuddly cats for whom I cook a weekly stew of bones and offal, and vast ambitious plans in the horticultural region.

My homeopath has hit on a good remedy and I am mobile again and slowly getting back into my stride, collecting fallen leaves to mix into soil, excitingly gathering hazels and apples, concocting some autumnal stuff that I will discuss here soon. This has been the year of the blackberry for me, never had I eaten so many before, returning every day from my early morning walk with purple fingers and seeds stuck stubbornly between my teeth. I found a few dead animals on the road, a pine marten, a little froglet, a mother badger, I dragged them unto the soft edge, bury them if I can, and wish them to be reborn into a being of their choice. Glad and grateful to be standing up again and not flattened on the tarmac, let’s make the most of that life of mine.

ground

6 thoughts on “all lights back on, pretty much

  1. You are living my dream with your nearly 5 acres, goats, chickens and cats. They must all be very healing to you–their sweet faces, their personalities and their unique sounds. I was reminded recently that I haven’t posted a picture of my chickens. I must do it soon. I, too, have been experiencing pain (in my neck) for no apparent reason, but the doctor expects that the three car accidents I was in during my 20s have finally caught up to me. Can you tell me what your homeopath is having you take? Thank you. Be well. -Moira

    1. Three car accidents ! What a survivor ! I am on Phosphorus but as I am sure you know homeopathy treats the person not the symptom and that particular remedy was largely prescribed on my mental state at the time. Phosphorus tends to be prescribed for burning pains which mines were not remotely. In my experience neck, shoulder and back are great places to store unsorted business, if it’s now painful it’s calling up for your attention so you could take your attention onto yourself and see what your body is trying to tell you. I find Homeopathy works well at helping shift stuff that may not be in our best interest to hang on to (perhaps as a survivor and mother you may take too much on…) and allow us to become ourselves. It may also simply be that at the time of your accidents you were not in a position to listen to yourself, and give yourself space and time to heal completely, and perhaps you can do that now. I for one I recently learned to give myself more love and I recommend it ! Don’t you love the sing song of hens, such sweet music ? Look after yourself M-A

      1. Thank you for the guidance! And yes, I love how my “girls” talk to me as soon as they hear my voice, even if it’s late and already dark out. Be well! -Moira

  2. I had a similar accident in 2004. One moment I was riding by bike down the street, the next I was tumbling over the hood of a car. I’m fine now but that accident and recovery certainly set some profound, difficult and good changes in motion. I’m glad to hear you’re doing well. You certainly have a wonderful outlook 🙂

    1. Thank you ! Hope you never meet a car hood/bonnet again in your path. What I have learned about accidents is pretty much what wild animals seem to do, to stay in the shock and acknowledge it before walking it out of your system (shaking it)—if you can walk. Accidents where there is a visible physical thing to cure are more likely to provide you with the space for your healing, when the shock is not visible I have often embraced the gratefulness of being still alive too soon, only to be hit by the shock later with a vengeance. It is a miracle to be alive though when you actually notice all the ways you could actually cut it all short during a course of a day… What I noticed on my last acrobatics last friday on a simple bridge I had built but neglected to anti-slip is how your mental state is of paramount importance when you do have an (avoidable, aren’t they all ?) accident. Do you wrap yourself in love when you hit the ground or do you kick yourself when you are down ? I had fallen so violently on the same spot about 7 years ago and it was a joy to notice how I have learned to love myself in the meanwhile (and thank goodness for Arnica). I was happy too to be jostled into finally dealing with the slippery surface saving my neighbour’s neck as he was to check the animals in my absence the following day ! I hammered some scavenged beer caps in situ with galvanised nails, the best and cheapest job, must post a picture, it does look pretty too. Good luck with with you busy life and remember to breathe !

      1. Thank you. I hope you never encounter another car bonnet either! I was so grateful to be alive for the first couple of weeks, but then my mood plummeted precipitously. I won’t kick myself down next time (hopefully there won’t be a next time anytime soon…). I would love to see a pic of your no-slip-bottlecap-finished bridge. How resourceful and lovely that sounds 🙂

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